Thursday, September 30, 2010
Every once in awhile we all do something good. From time to time, we all catch just a glimpse of who we were meant to be. Maybe you say something inspirational. . . or you have the opportunity to help someone that had no idea how they were going to accomplish a certain goal. . . Maybe it is the time you simply find patience in a situation where you would normally explode. It could be when you find yourself lost in a moment and didn't realize you had tears in your eyes. . . or that time you found the compassion you’ve been in search of for years, or you find yourself grateful to God for no reason at all. . . For just a moment. . . and in that moment, you get a just a glimpse of why God made you.
It is in these moments that an overwhelming feeling comes over us. It is in these moments that we cannot shake the feeling that there is so much more to life than we realize. The feeling that we can, in fact, be better. In these moments, I have to acknowledge that there is a God. . .and it is NOT ME. You see, I am not my handy work, and it is not up to me to make myself into who I am supposed to be. God is all the while guiding the process of bringing me to my fullest potential as a follower of Christ. He has many tools and is in no hurry.
From time to time I get caught up in the thoughts of “If I were a better person...” or “If I only read the Bible more…” or “If (insert situation here) had worked out differently, then I would be closer to what God intended for my life.” All the while missing countless opportunities to enjoy my creator and his endless grace. I find myself trying so hard to live up to expectations and qualifications, and fail to realize that the expectations I’m trying so hard to live up to…are none other than my own. My life is not my project… It’s God’s… And today is the day that He is beginning a new work in me. Today is the day that I’m embarking on a journey of change. . . of discovery. . . of transformation.
Today is the day that I take a step closer to being who God intended me to be!
Yes. . . Today is the day! I wish I could say that I got to bed early so I would be rested for today, but that would be a lie! As I laid in bed last night, I just couldn’t get to sleep… Thoughts of what may face me on the journey ahead raced through my mind. I tried my hardest to come up with every scenario I could think of, but found it impossible to shake the feeling that nothing in my imagination will compare to what is actually around the corner. It’s so bizarre when I look back on life. If someone told me even 3 years ago that I’d be sitting on a plane on September 28th 2010…. On my way to a place called YWAM to spend 12 weeks learning more about God before spending another 12 weeks traveling foreign countries sharing the love that I am just now learning to receive, I would have called you crazy! But… here I am… on a plane over the ocean. . . on my way to the beginning of the journey of a lifetime!
If you’re reading this, you probably know a little bit about what is going on in my life. It has been so amazing to sit back and watch the Lord work in me as I began to prepare for the chance to abandon my comfort zone and dive into the unknown. I’ll admit that I’ve had my days where I wondered if I was listening correctly when I felt the Lord calling me to YWAM, but I’ll also rejoice in the fact that over the past month, as my fears and concerns grew, God has continued to show up in the most surprising ways. I had my idea of how it would all play out until now, but I was pleasantly wrong. I thought that if God wanted this for me he would make it easy. . . that the support would POUR in… and I wouldn’t have to worry about a thing. But what I’m realizing is that God is not only showing up and hanging out, but he is also speaking to me and assuring me that the journey may not be painless… but that He’ll be hanging out with me along the way.