So... I sat down and made this blog almost a year ago with no idea what I would really do with it, and just like many of my "good ideas" it sat here and did nothing on its own. I had dreams of becoming the next big blogger with a following of hippie Christians who despised mainstream and wanted something more out of life. Unfortunately, this idea sat on the shelf with many others and collected the dust of laziness, apathy and complacency. Can anyone relate?
Today... I sit here terrified... But I've never felt so alive! From what I've heard, this moment could be compared to skydiving. Thirteen thousand feet up and plunging toward the ground at 120 miles per hour. What a rush! A feeling of exileration bordering panic. Adrenaline pumping through your body. The incredible sense of floating on nothing. Meanwhile, you see the earth as never before, amazingly cool and soft-edged and peaceful for something that's pulling you closer with enough speed to break every bone in your body on impact. However, before getting this far, before this experience could even begin. . . there was something else that had to be done. You had to to jump out of the plane. Everything I've heard about the experience of Skydiving. . .I'm feeling right now. Feeling paralyzed at the open door as the wind ripples your jumpsuit. The butterflies throwing a party in your stomach. Everything inside you screaming, Are you crazy? Don't do this! You're an idiot! The icy surge of fear. After all, it's totally unnatural to step out of an airplane door and fall into nothing. It's totally unnatural to move hours away from your family with no idea how you are going to survive. But without it, without stepping down and out, there'd be no exhilaration of the skydive, no rush of aliveness in the freedom of the beautiful blue sky. . . This is reality whether I accept it or not: To Get Real Life, You First Have to Loose It!